my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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