well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize