New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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