I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we're making bets on your personal life
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
