airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
