Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just puked most of my soul out..
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