I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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