Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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