i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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