Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
