I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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