oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A+ Viking dick
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