ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
