I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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