i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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