talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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