I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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