Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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