i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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