6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
