He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize