Non-Jews are for practice
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
