D3 body, D1 cock
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
