I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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