She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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