I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When are your genitals available?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
