I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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