I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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