the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
