just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
