My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
