No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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