Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
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