On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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