no, he came in my armpit
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
