You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
