Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
