my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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