He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
