I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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