I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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