am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
