with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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