Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
