Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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