uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
