Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize