every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
