its not stalking. its research.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
