the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
