I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
