Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize