I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
