Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
