She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize