Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I had to cum in my sink.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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