My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
