Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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