im having a threesome with these popsicles
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
