The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
