There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
