you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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