PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
In America we eat man semen.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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