I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do vagina's smell?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
