so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
