Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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