My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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