I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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