He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
