Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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