My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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