you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
